ADULTS ABUSED AS CHILDREN

Abuse can come in many forms, including physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, verbal abuse, and neglect. Sometimes the abuse can be so subtle, especially with emotional/psychological abuse that the person who was abused may not even fully realize that they were abused. 

 

Types/Definitions of Abuse

If you are wondering whether you were abused as a child or what type of abuse you might have suffered, here are definitions of some of the types of abuse from the "Adults Surviving Child Abuse" website:

 

  • Emotional abuse: The failure of caregivers and adults to nurture a child and provide them with the love and security that they require, and where a child's environment and relationships with caregivers are unstable, coercive or unable to support the child's healthy development.

 

  • Neglect and negligent treatment: Where a child is deprived of essential needs, such as love, nutrition, clothing, warmth, shelter, security, protection, medical and dental care, education and supervision.

 

  • Physical abuse: The infliction of bodily injury upon a child which is not accidental.

 

  • Family violence: Where one partner uses violence, and the threat of violence, to control their partners, children and other family members.

 

  • Sexual abuse: The involvement of a child in any sexual activity with an adult, or with another child who is in a relationship of responsibility, trust and power over that child. Sexual abuse includes, but is not limited to, the manipulation or coercion of a child into sexual activity, child prostitution and child pornography.

 

If you've been abused and want to talk to me about how I might be able to help you overcome your abuse so that you can finally live your life fully, CALL ME TODAY at 714-225-0815 

 

Effects of Abuse

Being abused as a child often has a long-term negative impact on the person who's been abused. Some of the negative effects of abuse are:

  • depression

  • anxiety disorders

  • poor self-esteem

  • difficulty in relationships

  • social isolation & withdrawal

  • internal chaos

  • lack of identity

  • aggressive behavior

  • suicide attempts

  • eating disorders

  • drug and/or alcohol abuse

  • post-traumatic stress

  • dissocation

  • sexual difficulties

  • self-harming behaviors

  • personality disorders

 

Messages & Coping Stategies from Abuse that have likely made it difficult for you to Live Your Life Fully

  • You have probably been taught inaccurate messages about yourself that have made it difficult for you to love and to be yourself, such as:

    • You are not good enough

    • Who you are is not okay

    • Your feelings are not okay

    • Your needs are not okay

    • You have to be_______to be loved

 

  • You have probably been taught inaccurate messages about what it means to be healthy that have prevented you from expressing your feelings and getting your needs met in appropriate and effective ways, such as:

    • It's not okay to cry

    • It's not okay to be angry

    • You should always put others' needs before your own

    • You're selfish if you express your needs

    • You're being "needy" if you need love, support, attention, affection from others

    • You have to lie and manipulate to get what you want

 

  • As a result of these inaccurate messages you have been taught, you have probably developed ineffective strategies to try to get the love that you want and deserve, such as:

    • Trying to be perfect

    • Trying to please others

    • Sacrificing yourself to try to fit in

    • Trying to help/rescue/fix others

    • Being invisible

 

You Need to Know

Being impacted by these messages and developing these strategies were NOT your fault. It happened mostly out of your awareness and before you were old enough to understand or to make decisions on your own. Then once you were old enough to make decisions on your own, these messages and strategies were so ingrained that you thought they were accurate and true and didn't realize that they were preventing you from getting the things you wanted, such as happiness and love.

 

The Good News & How I Can Help

If you are reading this, then you probably have at least started to realize that something is not right with what you have learned or have been doing, and you want to learn how to think and do things differently. This is where I can help. Within a safe, nurturing therapeutic environment, I can help you to identify these inaccurate messages and ineffective strategies in your life and help you replace them with accurate messages and effective strategies that will allow you to love yourself and others, express all of your feelings and needs appropriately and effectively, and finally live the life that you want and deserve.

 

CALL ME TODAY at 714-225-0815 to see how I can help you overcome your abuse so you can finally live your life fully!! 

​© 2013 Kooyman Psychological Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

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